Speedos and Puritans

Speedos and Puritans


America is a country of puritans who are often uncomfortable with sexuality and embarrassed about human bodies, theirs and the bodies of others. This unfortunately has all kinds of negative ramifications, from mental health issues to sex crimes.

This whole issue came up because of a post I did recently on Facebook of me and my husband of 15 years in speedos at the end of our scuba diving trip (see photo below). There were numerous comments which indicated that many thought that speedos were too revealing, dirty, inappropriate or somehow indecent (some even said, “that’s gay,” well guess what…we are gay). What is it about Americans and their discomfort with the human body? In the rest of the world, a speedo is called a “swim suit” and everyone wears them from kids to 80 year olds.

Many people talked about how they would not wear a speedo because of “modesty”. Lets be honest here, unless you have legs the size of Tom Platz and a package the size of a porn star, the reason you wear those baggy knee length swim trunks is embarrassment, not modesty. Stop pretending that you are modest and face the fact that you have body image issues. Either work with a therapist to become comfortable with your body the way it is or get your butt into the gym and change it! I am not a big fan of the “fat acceptance” movement because I firmly believe obesity significantly decreases quality of life but at least they are comfortable in their skins – good for the “fat acceptance” folks!

Package size is something worth discussing. One of the most common worries that men seem to have is being inadequate in the size department. First, guys worry about this FAR more than women do. Guys have this really warped view on what “average” is, in most cases guys who think they are small are actually quite normal. If you look at any of the legitimate research that has been done about what gets a women interested in a man, package size doesn’t make the top 10. For some gay men, size does matter (Size Queen!), but if you are a straight guy, dont worry about it. If you’re gay, you know what I’m talking about already.

We have the incredible hypocrisy in America that our twisted need to appear puritan causes. America would like to deny that anyone has any sexual urges at all. We are a nation of sinners masquerading as puritans. Politicians preach the importance of family values and then cheat on their wives. Catholic priests who are supposed to be the pinnacle of morality end up child mollestors because their religion forces them to deny their sexuality. Maybe if everyone just took a chill pill and became more comfortable with the human body then we would be a lot better off as a nation.

American culture raises kids to think that the human body is dirty and sinful (hoo-hoo and wee-wee). In many countries, women sunbathing topless doesn’t even raise an eyebrow, but in America it is somewhere between scandalous and criminal. Advertisements showing a woman’s breasts would cause boycotts in America where in many countries its completely normal. Really, whats the big deal? We ALL have BOOBS! What is so wrong with seeing body parts (parts is parts)? Maybe if we raised our kids in a society where seeing breasts was no big deal then we would have less sex crimes. Then there are people who would say that a woman who appears topless in public is just asking to be raped, what kind of moronic logic is that? So I guess that would mean that a guy who goes shirtless deserves to be raped too – fair is fair, right?

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Speedos, board shorts, modesty, and bodybuilding